Funny Husband Wife Joke: Checkmate by Wife

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

What is a checkmate?
You tell your wife I saw a lady, looked exactly like you...
Wife asks: Was she Hot?
Now you can't say 'No'
You can't say 'Yes'

Funny Husband Wife Joke: Checkmate by Wife

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

What is a checkmate?
You tell your wife I saw a lady, looked exactly like you...
Wife asks: Was she Hot?
Now you can't say 'No'
You can't say 'Yes'

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Three FASTEST means of Communication:

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

If hubby is head of the family then what is wife?

Wife is the neck of the family and can turn head anywhere!

Funny Non Veg Jokes, Sexy Jokes:

Just married couple after first night!

Husband: Let me be frank - It is not my first time.

Wife: Well. let me also clear that you still need to learn a lot.

Funny Non Veg Jokes, Sexy Jokes:

Husband comes home from a tough time of work and finds his wife laying in front of the fire place with her legs wide open.

He asked, "Dear, what are you doing?"

She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer and asked about the coming baby.

The astrologer said, “when this baby will be delivered, His father will die.”

Lady took a deep breath and said, “Thank God then my husband is safe.”

Funny Husband and Wife Joke Explaining Complete and Finished:

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words COMPLETE and FINISHED, in a way that's easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED.

I beg to differ because, there is!!!

When you marry the right woman, you are "COMPLETE"..

And when you marry the wrong one, you are "FINISHED"!

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ...

"COMPLETELY FINISHED" !!

One man asked his friend what the stages of Marriage are. For that his friend replied 

Mad for each other.

Mad at each other.

Mad because of each other.

Made for each other.

Really nice.

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Lady to advocate: I want to marry my ex-husband again!

Advocate: Why, last month you got the divorce...

Lady: After divorce, he is very happy and I cannot tolerate this at all...

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Why Husband and Wife don't understand each other?

God: Because I gave good brains to men & good hearts to women

But men use their hearts

And

Women use their brains.

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

A couple was having dinner at a restaurant.

As the food was served,.

.

.

.

The husband said:

The food looks delicious, let's eat!

.

.

.

Wife: Honey, you say prayer before eating at home.

.

.

.

Husband: That's at home, Sweetheart. Here, the chef knows how to cook.

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Lady: People say that in heaven Man and woman cannot live together!

Male: Yes, that is why it is known as heaven

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?

Answer: On their MARRIAGE.

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.

Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral: BE SPECIFIC

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

A Bus full of wives going for a picnic crashed with no survivors.

Each Husband cried for a week.

But one husband continued for more than a month.

When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the Bus"

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Man called frantically into the phone: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Man shouted: No, this is her husband!

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

Spouse to Husband (on Phone): Dear, Can you talk for 2 seconds? Hope, you are not busy?

Husband: Yes! Why? What is it?

Wife: I have a Good and Bad news!

Husband: I want to hear only Good news, don't have time for the Bad

Wife: Fine, the Good news is that the Air Bags in our new Range Rower worked perfectly FINE! I reached home safe but car....Ok let’s leave bad news...

Vastreader Funny Husband Wife Jokes:

A successful marriage is based on 'Give & Take'

Where husband gives money, gifts, dresses & wife takes it.

And Wife gives Advices, lecturer, tensions & husband takes it.

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